• A huge proportion of college athletes are “learning disabled.” Apparently being smart but illiterate is enough to produce a positive on some tests.
• Best photos of the year.  China certainly does mass precision very well.  (One in the first set and one in the second.)
• Did you know someone could put this much thought into ass-wiping technique?
• Country rappers crack me up. Everything about them sounds like one big minstrel show.  Who knew, in 1992 when everyone was freaking out about “Cop Killer,” that hip-hop-inflected language would be the dominant slang of white boys from Iowa?
• COOKIES!  And Science!
• More pretty pictures–deep sea critters.

And this is just fucking weird.  Something deeply off-putting about it.

Finally, after the craziest offseason (probably) ever in UK basketball history, the regular season debuts tonight on ESPNU against Morehead State (from Morehead, KY).

It was an offseason that started with a loss to Notre Dame in the NIT (what?) and included Gillispie fired, Calipari hired, Patterson coming back, Jodie leaving, Bledsoe signing, Cousins signing, Wall signing, Orton signing, Gillispie lawsuit, Gillispie DUI, Gillispie settlement, Lebron visiting Lexington, Wall eligibility questioning, Wall eligibility confirmed (although he has to sit out tonight against Morehead, lucky for them).

I’ve actually become more of a UK fan in the past 4 years than any.  In the past, an SEC championship was given, and a trip to the final four wasn’t unheard of. We surprisingly made the NIT last year. I sat and suffered through every game, and some of my friends who always hated  UK during the late 90s were able to become casual fans and somewhat feel my pain.  Now it’s back to hate, hate, hate for them and I couldn’t be more excited.

How excited am I ? Probably somewhere between these two young fellas:

Uhh, he goes nuts at 0:22.

go big blue.

Some of the other all-time greats (can’t remember which I’ve posted before):

Biggie & Tupac:

- best line: “Oh my god, I’m droppin shit like a pigeon/I hope you’re listenin’/Smackin’ babies at their christenin’.

Mos Def, from the film, Freestyle: the Art of Rhyme.

I saw Supernatural do this live–it’s tough to change items so damn fast:

The cynic in me says that this is an overly salacious tell-all sexed up by a guy who’s going to jail and has nothing to lose, but then again, this shit is highly specific, and I totally believe that refereeing is a shady business.

• John Wall eligible? I’m not out to jump up and down on David here, but I suspect this is part of the Calipari package, and it casts an odd light on the many hand-jobs that Coach Cal’s been getting in the national media.  He’s a great basketball coach, and put together one of the greatest recruiting classes of all time.  But, he’s less interested in the actual academic process than the guy scrubbing toilets.
• Then again, maybe Dana O’Neil just writes fluff for a living.  This is a cute story about Indiana, but definitely a little too chipper for me, having sat through last season:

• Yep–that’s pretty much how forensic science works.
• Sweaty Boy and iCycle: fun flash games.  I love the indie games movement.  The AVClub has a great feature on cheap games called Sawbuck Gamer: totally worth checking out.
• Ultramarathoners removing their toenails for an advantage.  What the fuck.  This is one weird sport.  I knew a guy in college who used to run ultramarathons.  He said that there’s a point in the race when your endorphins get so low that “you think about killing yourself and everyone you’ve ever loved.”  His solution: “You’ve just got to run through it.”  Crazy, man.  But, there are many other great stories about him, as you might imagine.
• You’re no one unless you have a lobbyist: this is an awesomely creepy story about how lobbyists for the cable and satellite companies are going after each other, each in the name of the “sports fan.”  FUCK ALL OF THESE PEOPLE.  Seriously–corporate lobbyists sound like the lowest of the low–their only job is to make more profits for their company, with absolutely no regard for regular people or any kind of morality.  How is it the the average working-class white person can support the Republican party when this kind of stuff is the result of unchecked Capitalism?  See also: the health-care mess:

• A guide to American hamburger styles.
• A guide to American regional hot dog styles.
• A guide to American regional pizza styles.

If you can read all three of those (heck, any one) and not go out tonight and immediately order something that takes three weeks off the end of your life, you’re a stronger man than me. Some thoughts:

• I had New Haven-style clam pizza when I was there for college, and it was in fact pretty good–white pizza, lots of garlic, and the clams didn’t actually mess it up in any way.  BUT, I should admit that I never went to either Sally’s or Pepe’s, which are easily the two most famous, and the ones people are sometimes will to drive up from New York for.  The wait was always at least an hour (often closer to two), even on a random Tuesday, and Wooster Square was a long-ass walk.  So I only went out there once or twice.

• The DC slice is indeed spectacularly large–I definitely had one once that was larger than a medium pizza from Domino’s–but it’s nothing to write home about.

• Best high-class pizza I’ve ever had: Iggie’s in Baltimore (the Alice is absolutely fucking amazing)–I’d recommend that one to anyone.

• Best cheap-ass pizza I’ve ever had: Naples in New Haven.  I can’t say other people feel the same way, but I swear that they cut the Parmesan with crack.  It was my favorite special treat on a cold, wintry day, after walking down Science Hill from the Friday morning class I had every goddamn year.  Apparently they’ve changed their name–probably something to do with the massive number of underage beer service citations they got over the years.  Also famous for the “Naples Challenge” among some of the a cappella groups at Yale.  You had to sprint from whatever concert or play you were at to Naples, eat a slice and drink a beer, then sprint back before intermission ended.  More fun on the way there than the way back.

• Best high-class burger I’ve ever had: Hamilton Tavern in Baltimore.  Holy fucking shit.  This is the greatest burger I’ve ever eaten.  I moan with pleasure throughout the meal.  Local beef, horseradish cheddar, smoked bacon, homemade bun, and homemade potato chips on the side.  Plus an interesting, though not unusually extensive, beer selection.  I love this place.

• Best cheap-ass burger I’ve ever had: the sliders at Bert’s in Baltimore (RIP).  DHigh can attest–also stuffed with crack.  Their food was amazingly inconsistent.  The pizza was like that frozen shit people would sell for fundraisers in high school, only cooked even worse than you could do at home.  (Maybe they took it off that cardboard circle?)  I’m so sad Bert’s is gone–you could usually get a table, play electronic trivia, and watch any sporting event you could imagine on one of about seventeen TVs (I just recounted in my head–that’s a pretty accurate estimate).   They had ice cream for $1 a scoop, and Bhavini took advantage frequently.

• Louis’ Lunch: the place in New Haven who claims to have invented the hamburger.  Definitely pretty good, though not a fancy burger.  Do NOT ask for ketchup–you will receive naught but scorn.  They still grill it on the same, incredibly heavy vertical grills they started with in 1895:

• I love the DC Half-Smoke, made famous by Ben’s Chili Bowl.

I’d never had one until about a year ago, but they are well worth the acclaim heaped upon them.  Spicy meat, a little scorched; lots of mustard; chili; and onions.  They’re the shit.  Last time I was at a Nationals game I walked like 30 minutes to find the nearest one.  Evidence against the Nationals Park–I had to walk 30 fucking minutes to get to what should be your flagship food.  Well, at least Nationals employees can handle simpler tasks than designing ballparks.

Conclusion to this whole, long-ass post: did anyone else know Connecticut was such a worthy stop on the junk-food road trip?  It rated a mention in all three posts.  I spent four years there, and I always said the food was better than average, but I didn’t know you could drive around the more podunk parts of the Nutmeg state and stumble upon a unique kind of encased meat.

Anyone else want to stand up for their favorite burger/hot dog/pizza?

Back in May, when John Wall decided he was coming to Lexington, I wrote this piece that alluded to UK’s swagger returning.

Friday night at Big Blue Madness, the player intro video used the same song (even the same remix) as my post. Coincidence, or Cankled influence? You can decide for yourself, as you watch (starting at 1:33):

And for bonus, here’s number one-one being introduced at Rupp for the first time…yeah, so the guy knows he’s a rock star. so what? feel free to hate hate hate, elliott.

They’re calling it “Big Blue Madness” now, but that sounds kinda lame. I’ll call it what I’ve called it my whole life. Found this picture by image-googling “Patrick Patterson midnight madness” because I remember loving his fro’ed-out entrance from last year.

It was the 3rd picture that came up in the google image search. Want to see what the 5th picture was?

Yes ! I’m a star. A star in dire need of a haircut.

Very excited about getting basketball season rolling. If you want to see player interviews from yesterday’s Media Day, go here.  I’m not going to be able to watch the madness live because we’re celebrating my sister’s 30th birthday tonight. That’s insane. 30! I do have the DVR set and can’t wait to get home so I pass out on the couch and finish watching it in the morning.

Well, today here’s a screencap of the chatter on the chat next to the current live feed:

7 Months later, people are still yelling for the return of the door and Kentucky’s favorite newscaster Les Smith. Outstanding.

Tomorrow is Big Blue Madness. Let’s get the basketball season started!

And, because I have a giant man-crush, here’s yet another video of number one-one:

On October 10, 2009, our 10 year reunion was held at Barren River Lake  Lodge. After months of planning, I was happy to have the silly thing done.

If I had known I was going to have that much fun, I would have had 3-4 days worth of reunion activities.

Lots of dancing

I was worried about this dance floor getting paid for. Good thing we got it…people had their dance shoes ready.

ChaCha slide? or Cupid something

More dancing. Cupid slide and cha cha shuffles all over that dance floor.

Planning and decorating for the event was also fun. I had lots of help decorating and I think everything looked great! We even had a 5 foot x 7 foot picture of our graduating class! FUN. (did everyone take their heads?)

Balloons!

Table and magnets!

shake it...shake it..

The three in the picture to the right rocked the dance floor. All night they hiked up their pants/dress and shook a leg? or dropped a duce? what is it?

Any way…the 10 yr. reunion was a hit in my head! I look forward to the next one. Thank you dhigh for ALL YOUR HELP!

Which Pumpkin do I want?

Sometime in October…

David, Emily and I went to a pumpkin patch to pick our very our pumpkins!

There were many to choose from….

Ouucccchh!

Emily had some pumpkin pricking issues. Everytime she chose one, it pricked her. Who knew pumpkin stems had thorns?

Get off our stack kiddies!

There was a giant haystack asking us to climb up. Too many children were on the top being all children like. Smelling like kid sweat and being all loud. We got to the top and were KINGS OF THE HAYSTACK! (emily pushed them off)

Yeah for fall!

After the lovely day at the farm we decorated our new front porch. Aren’t we so homey? who wants to give me a recipe to make pumpkin bread? Elliott–you’re bread man. Our pumpkin was a whopping 17 pounds! We’re proud.

Happy Fall.